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The Self-directed Child

The Self-directed Child

Jesse McCarthy by Jesse McCarthy | Montessori Blog4 Aug, 2015

“The fundamental basis of education must always remain that one must act for oneself. That is clear. One must act for him or herself.” –Maria Montessori

©MariaMontessori.com

Early on as teacher, I experienced a dramatic demonstration of this “fundamental basis” while tutoring a unique young girl.

Rachel (I’ve changed her name for privacy) was brilliant in many ways, but also very disorganized. At 12, she would write college-level essays – and then lose the memory stick on which she had saved her work. At 13, she would masterly argue both sides of an historical debate – and then not be able to eat her lunch after class because, well, she forgot where she had put it.

When Rachel and I met for our brief daily “organizational tutoring,” I tried everything to change her destructive habits. We had sticky notes, we had planners, we had parent conferences, we had endless dialogues … we had everything. Yet nothing ever really worked. Until one afternoon.

School had just ended, and Rachel was trudging her way down the steps to our tutoring session, her backpack slightly open and precariously dangling off her shoulder, when next thing I knew the door to the tutoring room swung open wildly and there she was, disheveled, with books literally falling out of her hands. She glanced around the room and with triumphant dejection said, “I don’t know why we even have to do this!”

That’s when it hit me. Rachel had said “we:” “I don’t know why *we* even have to do this!” In an instant, the fatal error in my approach became clear. At the stage of development when adolescents genuinely crave and need a strong sense of independence and self-direction, this young girl had never truly owned her own organizational difficulties. *I* had been the driving force in her attempted improvement, while *she* had never even chosen to begin that process, let alone to direct it.

After a few moments of thinking to myself, “Oh boy! What do I do now??“ I looked at Rachel and said sincerely, “You don’t have to come to tutoring anymore. If you find that you want to work on organization (or on anything else), let me know and we’ll plan a schedule that makes sense for you.” And then I said goodbye. That was it.

I don’t recall whether it was a couple of days or weeks later, but not long after that difficult afternoon we began our tutoring back up. This time, however, *Rachel* initiated the sessions and *Rachel* chose the schedule (how many days a week we’d meet and for how long). After a few months of dedicated work, with the to-be-expected hiccup here and there, Rachel got herself organized – and proudly, glowingly so. And shortly thereafter, our organizational tutoring ended. She no longer needed it.

When I began teaching years ago, I had the view that I can change any child; overtime, however, through working with and alongside hundreds of unique students, I came to see that such a view is more accurately stated as any child can change himself. A subtle shift in phrasing, yet a fundamental distinction in pedagogy. This self-directed approach to education does not mean the teacher, the “guide,” is unnecessary. To the contrary, a thoughtful guide creates the content-rich, and often highly structured environment in which a child can thrive, but only through her own will. As Rachel’s story exemplifies – and as Maria Montessori spent her life both observing in children and demonstrating for adults – growth is impossible to achieve for another human being: “One must act for him or herself.”

Filed Under: Montessori Blog Tagged With: approach, change, child, education, environment, montessori, organization, schedule, Teacher, tutoring

Jesse McCarthy

About Jesse McCarthy

For close to a decade, Jesse worked as a teacher, principal, and executive at a group of Montessori private schools for infants to 8th graders (LePort Schools), helping to create engaging classrooms for students and a benevolent culture for staff. In 2014, he left to speak and write full time on education, psychology, culture. His work can be found at jemslife.com.

Reader Interactions

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  1. Avatarlinda brower says

    August 4, 2015 at 11:50 pm

    want to know more about how to facilitate different ways to facilitate the goals and pitfall of of how to elp uthere to kaen them theirselves

    Reply
  2. AvatarPramod says

    August 5, 2015 at 6:06 am

    Hi Jesse, a wonderful experience and learning there. It is often said in Indian culture that ‘a teacher enters when the student is ready’. History is replete with stories of seekers who went in search of a Guru because they were ready to learn. This readiness to learn, as you have rightly pointed out, must come from the individual. It cannot be imposed. I have always loved the Montessori method, because it makes a person independent and able to ascertain his/her own readiness to do something.

    Reply
  3. AvatarEsme Cassidy says

    August 5, 2015 at 6:38 am

    This is a Biblical principle.

    Reply
  4. Avatarsteve mccrea says

    August 16, 2015 at 5:58 pm

    I’m collecting posters that can present the idea that “the student can make choices”… I call it, “Let’s let teenagers practice being adults.” (1) they don’t have to be adults all the time. (2) they can decide when they are adults. (3) they choose how they will be “adults”. I’m experimenting with quotes, posters, and ebooks. Videos and links to blogposts. Any suggestions? If you have seen a poster that works for you, please send it my way. I’m up for chatting too. If you want to text a photo to my phone, here it is… +1 (954) 646 8246 in USA. Skype SteveEnglishTeacher. Thanks for any tips.

    Reply
  5. AvatarKerri Cutforth says

    May 13, 2016 at 7:44 pm

    Great great article! At only 9 months I can see Ashlyn’s independence shining through. Can’t wait to talk with you more about the best ways to help this darling girl learn and grow!

    Reply

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