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Birthday Wishes

Michele Aspinall by | Montessori Blog

When did a young child’s birthday party become a close second to planning for a wedding? I ask myself year after year, “What happened to simple birthday parties hosted at home with cake, ice cream, and games?” In our, “more is better” society, birthdays for children have gone way over the top. Often they involve twenty to thirty other children, an entourage of adults, a place that was booked weeks in advance, and all of this is rarely achieved for under a few hundred dollars. In general, parents (and children) are generating higher and higher expectations of what they see fit for a birthday celebration, sometimes blindly following the path of others. As a result, parents are feeling the stress and financial strain, while children are overloaded and overindulged beginning at a very early and impressionable age.

On the contrary, I have nothing but fond memories of my own birthday parties and I believe this is true because my mom knew best…she kept it simple. Primarily, she went this route out of necessity and likely had no idea how her minimalist choices would instill in me such a lasting appreciation. My first five years of birthday celebrations consisted of my brothers, sister, mom, dad, and my grandma Jean. It wasn’t until I was five that I had a birthday party that I shared with friends. And then, it was always held at my home and didn’t last longer than an hour.

The menu included a cake that my mother made (I can still taste it), ice cream, and a beverage. What we did at the party varied a bit. Typically, we played traditional birthday games like “Pin the Tail on the Donkey” or a “Scavenger Hunt” held outside. But sometimes my guests and I just played as we would on any other summer day. It was wonderful! Presents you ask? There were a few. Nothing extravagant. And because there were just a few, I savored each one and played with every toy until it could no longer be used.

The simplicity of how we celebrate birthdays in a Primary environment is reminiscent of how my mom handled my parties. We make it memorable, just as mom did.

The class festivities begin with the birthday child choosing a peer who will facilitate the gathering. Since we rarely meet as an entire class of three to six-year-olds, the need for direction to stay on course is required, although keeping it child-centered is a must. Once the facilitator is appointed, the class assembles around a lit candle placed upon a quilt or mat representing the solar system. The candle symbolizes the sun. The birthday child carefully holds the Painted Globe with pride and slowly circles the sun as the children serenade him with a song such as this…

The earth moves around the sun, tra la la The earth moves around the sun

The earth moves around the sun, tra la la

Now Johnny is one

The earth moves around the sun, tra la la

The earth moves around the sun

The earth moves around the sun, tra la la

Now Johnny is two

The song continues until we reach the age of the child.

After we sing, the facilitator announces that each child will now have the option of offering the birthday child an affirmation. If there are newly enrolled children, I stop to explain that an affirmation is a “gift of words”, something special about a friend that you have observed or especially appreciate. This portion of the celebration can last ten minutes or sometimes it can go on for thirty. I wish I could capture the expression of each child who is fortunate enough to experience a birthday in this way. Even after thirty years of teaching and hundreds of birthday celebrations, it’s difficult not to get emotional when I see how much this simple, no frills ritual means to each child.

So how can today’s parents mimic this unforgettable experience and create an inexpensive, memorable celebration? Keep it simple. It’s just that easy. Hosting the gathering in their home is a great first step to eliminating all of the unnecessary extras. This is a place where children feel most safe and secure, a place where the memories run deep. Parents should also rid themselves of any obligation to include their child’s entire class on the guest list. They should set the stage for others. Be today’s trendsetters! Have YOU always been invited to every party? Instead, allow the birthday child to formulate a list that consists of only a handful of friends. As a general rule, invite the same number of friends, as the child is turning old. Plan a craft that can be used as the take home party favor, eliminating the over-priced goody bag that’s often found in the parking lot of the venue anyway. Play a traditional game. Games like; Musical Chairs, Simon Says, and Telephone resonate in children today just as they did decades ago. Though they are disappearing as quickly as the laced shoe, games such as these will always remain as memory makers. Not only do they evoke endless laughter, but they also continue to teach our children self-control, social skills, respect for others, and conflict resolution. But I digress, a topic for another time.

A cherished friend once recommended to my husband and me to embark on a birthday tradition for our children as she once did. She suggested we present our children with an envelope on their birthday. In the envelope, there would be two slips of paper, one with a new responsibility and another with a new privilege. We implemented her idea when our first child was just a toddler. Now in high school, he and his sister continue to receive those responsibilities along with a well-deserved privilege. But most importantly, when planning a child’s party…keep it brief. This will significantly reduce the risk of overstimulation and the likelihood of meltdowns.

Keeping the length of the occasion short and sweet will allow the child to come away with so many more positive memories.

I do appreciate the pressures that come along with wanting to give our children the very best. I can only hope that we can change the current trend of birthday celebrations and get back to what is important with our children…raising thoughtful, selfless, responsible adults who understand what it means to occasionally earn rewards, not just ask for them.

Consider The Audience

Jennifer Rogers by | Montessori Blog

The benefits of reading aloud to young children are well documented. The only controversial question on the topic is boring. Teachers usually ask the question in the shrill, exasperated voice that unfortunately fits our stereotype: Why are there still so many parents who don’t read to their children?

Many parents do, of course, carve out time most days to sit down and read to our kids. We enjoy picking out new books. We have read some of our favorites so often the books have to be replaced, but we keep the old copies because there are so many memories associated with the kids we read to.

Nonetheless, there have always been too many children who enter school having never been read to. Working parents are often too tired at the end of the day, or too busy all day. Some parents are discouraged when children will not sit still long enough to listen. Many parents do not know how to pick books their young children will enjoy. In truth, each of these excuses – busy, tired, frustrated and overwhelmed – is true for most of us, some or all of the time.

It has never been hard to manufacture good reasons for not reading, but changes in technology have offered more convincing excuses to avoid sitting down beside a child with a book. Audio books are easily accessible, and in many cases, the recordings are exceptionally well done. Most popular children’s books have been made into more-popular movies. Hand-held and touch-screen devices allow the youngest children make independent choices, adjust the pace and volume of reading, stop and start at the times they select.

Without a dedicated adult and a book to hold, though, there is no dialogue, no warmth, and no love.

Advice

Here is the simplest, most effective advice, a three-word mantra for read-aloud parents: Consider your audience.

Try it, as I do, several times a day. In less time than it takes to finish the phrase in my mind, I am thinking of a particular child, or a group of kids, their ages and interests, the things they talk about, the subjects that make them laugh, and their attention spans. In a few seconds, I have all the information I need to make a good choice. It’s a tiny, internal flip, but it changes everything. Instead of beginning with a concern, or a sense of duty, or a desire to find the perfect bedtime story, the question turns my attention towards the kids I love.

Happily, the same “consider the audience” advice also works well while reading. Bad book choices are easily identified and replaced. Watching and listening while reading gives teachers and parents all the feedback we need. Humor, fear and confusion are hard to predict, but easy to notice. Maurice Sendak’s monsters are usually not scary, but Mr. McGregor in his garden is often terrifying. Mo Willems is not at all funny unless you read his books with a child. With a child as a reading companion, his characters and the situations he creates are hilarious.

Motivation

One of the strongest motivators for very young children who are just acquiring language is an earnest, urgent desire to express their needs and opinions. (For proof, watch a parent struggle with an unhappy infant, or a toddler in the midst of a tantrum). The same strength of character is revealed when a child is learning to listen. The youngest child will listen attentively when he is interested and has opportunities to respond with opinions and observations. If a child is bored, disconnected or disengaged, he will indeed walk away.

The desire to read begins when a child wants to know more about a subject, or when a story is so interesting she cannot bear for it to end, or when she wants to be like a loved, admired adult. Children who have been read to have longer attention spans, are more engaged, and more motivated. In short, children who have been read to enter school with the habits of good learners already firmly established.

It’s All Science

Christine Carrillo by | Montessori Blog

“What is a scientist?…We give the name scientist to a man who has felt experiment to be a means guiding him to search out the deep truth in life, to lift a veil from its fascinating secrets…” -Maria Montessori

He was crying pretty hard. No, he was weeping. His face of was red and his eyes were swollen. He was angry, confused and overwhelmed. Despite the successful orientation just a few days earlier, it has not been easy to say goodbye to mom and dad and make the journey down the hallway to our classroom. In addition to the difficult separation, there was a bit of a language barrier. He spoke another language at home and was not yet fluent in English. I helped him wipe his tears, and took him gently by the hand. I showed him the cylinder blocks. He was immediately interested, although still hesitant. Using a friendly smile and gestures, I invited him to sit beside me as I began to work with the material.

As soon as I began to remove the cylinders from the block, his eyes lit up. He locked his eyes on mine and reached for the next cylinder, clearly showing me that he wanted to go for it. After I finished my presentation, he went right for it, tears forgotten and enthusiasm in full swing. I watched him for a long while, mesmerized, as I often am, at the draw, pull, enticement and attraction, as well as the calming quality of these beautiful materials in my environment.

I observed him as he mulled over the holes, working with purpose until finding the right one in which to gently slide the cylinder. He tried one cylinder in several of the holes before finding just the right fit. I could practically see the gears turning in his mind. Through trial and error, observation, testing and testing again, he was able to return each cylinder to its correct space. He sighed with contentment as he finished, and then started the process all over again.

Montessori materials allow the child to teach himself. Through trial and error, these didactic materials give feedback, this case both visual (he can see that it doesn’t fit) and mechanical (some cylinders just do not fit in some holes), which allow the child to work independently. The child in the prepared environment tests his hypothesis (this one goes here) again and again. He records data in his mind as to which cylinder goes where. He tests and retests. The child finds contentment in his exploration. He feels a calm sense of accomplishment when finished. He desires to repeat the process again from the beginning.

Maria Montessori, herself a scientist and a physician, created her pedagogy through following the interests of children and did not name the approach after herself. We call it “The Montessori Method”, but she called it “The Scientific Method” or “The Child’s Method.” Our approach to education is the only pedagogy based in science, and based on one woman’s dedication of over 50 years of research and practice to create a developmentally based approach to education that follows the child’s natural growth process.

In our classrooms, children teach themselves concepts through trial and error, using didactic materials. These didactic materials provide a child with a sense of purpose and are repetitive and calming. Children are unhurried and can practice, err, correct themselves and explore deeper at their own pace.

When I look around my classroom, I see twenty-seven scientists. They are making mistakes, making observations, testing and retesting, repeating, recording data and engaging in that process over and over again. Once they are confident with one material, they are likely to desire to work with another. This sense of calm, self- assuredness builds wonderful members of our community who are, in turn, a gift to our society because calm, confident, self-assured children become calm, confident, self-assured adults. In the words of Dr. Montessori, “The child is the maker of man.”

As for the little boy who was tearful on his first day, he has happily been working his way through many of the materials on the shelves, with a special love for the sensorial. He does not cry in the morning. Though he continues to be the strong, silent type, this morning he raced across the room to me with a grin, grabbed my hand and led me to the beautiful pink tower he had built. The little girl working next to him shared in his joy and said, “YOU DID IT!” And my heart sang with joy for him and gratitude for this wonderful scientific approach to education that allows children to become the best versions of themselves.

Beauty is Everywhere a Welcome Guest

Michele Aspinall by | Montessori Blog

“The Child should live in an environment of beauty”. These words have been my mantra every day that I walk into my All Year Montessori casa. Whether it is a toddler class, primary, an elementary environment, Middle School or even a High School we must create a space for students that reflects peace and tranquility. This space MUST invite the child, the little learner to come in and to embrace the work that surrounds him. This environment has so much to do with the approach of those working there, both adult and child. If your life is cluttered and messy, so will be the environment you create with the children. When considering this space, you must be thoughtful, creative and selfless.

Be extremely thoughtful about every item you bring into your environments. Somehow, connect each of these items to the material and to your lessons. Whether it’s a brass elephant that’s linked to the African animal classified cards or wooden pitchers for the pouring exercise that can be later polished, always be thinking about how to connect the dots and the child’s interest. Also, repair and maintain each and every object. I fully understand the commitment of time that I am suggesting you make when adopting this idea. My children are in class 245 days of the year, up to 10 hours a day and within that time using the materials to their fullest extent. Therefore, the materials can and do take a beating. This is all the more reason to uphold the beauty that is crucial in a living community. Share this important responsibility. When something is damaged, let the children know that it isn’t easily replaced and have them tuck it away in a designated basket or tray for damaged materials until it can be repaired or renewed. Also, be fully prepared for this basket to become a truck when first introducing it to your environments. Nevertheless, the awareness and care that you will begin to witness from every child is worth the front end loading necessary in order to get this started. Eventually, give lessons on repairing material in the class. Who better to care for “their” environment than the children themselves!

Be creative with your space. Don’t be afraid to move a shelf or allow the children to move work tables in order to work collaboratively, even at three years old. This class, this room is the children’s space . . . let them feel that way. Being selfless is probably most important when setting up this beautiful place, something I didn’t consider in my first few years of teaching, likely because I was selfishly just trying to get through the day. The most selfless act when preparing the room is to include the children in every decision you make, shelf you move, or picture you hang. We all gained a true appreciation of beauty and of the prepared environment in our training. Don’t we all feel that our training, and our trainers for that matter, were the very best? Sure we do. Mine actually was the best. Hildgard Solzbacher, AMI trainer extraordinaire. I remember her as the embodiment of elegance and excellence. Hildegard said, “We want to make sure children go into the world with a peaceful heart, but also with a sense of responsibility — not only for themselves, but for others. When a little one walks into a Montessori environment who has never

been here, he looks around — and it really is like a cultural walk — learning everything that you need for your life.” For three summers those words sunk deep inside my soul. And when I completed the training I had visions of this perfect place I was to create. I was a new teacher pioneering a new All Year Montessori program with thirty-two children awaiting me. That didn’t scare me. I had grand ideas. I was ready for them! I was silly. Twenty years ago, I didn’t realize that this environment was not attainable overnight. It was not a matter of arranging a few shelves or hanging a print or two. This was to be a labor of love. Much like a Henri Matisse “Cut-Out”, this space is a piece of art that requires time and layers of texture, color, and complexity. The work of creating such a masterpiece runs deep with organization and beauty at the forefront.

The Montessori prepared environment exhibits reverence for the child and the beauty and order crucial for him to work at his natural, individual and optimal level. If I motivate you, you as creators of spaces for children who will save the world, if I motivate you to do anything hopefully it will be to go back to your environments with fresh eyes. Not just a new way of thinking about the physical environment, but also for the way you help children to see beauty within themselves and in each other. Don’t we need this now more than ever? “You must be the change you want to see in the world”, said Ghandi. Bringing beauty to each child I have the privilege of sharing a space with is one small way of contributing to this unbelievably important responsibility of ours.

At any level, the children’s space should be attractive, inviting, and thoughtfully arranged. This space personifies each element of Dr. Montessori’s revolutionary approach. Natural lighting, soft tones, and orderly spaces set the scene for activity that is concentrated and serene. The material, whether it be stringing beads, the pink tower or square root pegboard are displayed on accessible shelves, encouraging independence as students go about their work. Everything is where it is supposed to be, conveying a sense of harmony and order that both comforts and motivates. Finding joy in learning comes naturally in an environment such as this. Who wouldn’t feel good here? Who wouldn’t feel at home in a place such as this? You might see this as a daunting task. If you don’t fancy yourself a creative person, that’s all right. When I’m not feeling particularly creative I like to refer to the children’s book ISH by Peter H. Reynold’s. I tend to read it when I am feeling stuck and need to be set free. It’s also a book that I read to my children often when they aren’t feeling particularly creative or inspired. It’s a story about a boy named Ramon. His carefree sketches quickly turn into joyless struggles after a negative comment from his older brother. Luckily for Ramon, his little sister sees the world differently. She opens his eyes to something a lot more valuable than getting things just “right.” He ultimately learns that thinking “ish-ly” is far more wonderful than getting it right. In the end, Ramon walks away feeling light and energized. You should walk into your environments every day feeling light and energized . . . and most of all . . . “ISH”.

Many of us function best and are most productive in a space that is prepared. Just as we do, children require a space prepared especially for them. I am a baker. Not professional, I have a day job. However, I bake for several reasons. Baking helps me to find an inner peace; it makes others happy; I love to create things; and for goodness sake I love to eat sweets! Before I get started, I organize, I arrange, I set- up. This brings comfort within the activity. Imagine baking a cake and having to collect each ingredient, but they are just out of your reach. How very frustrating this would be, and likely this would make you throw in the towel. I certainly would. The design and flow of our classrooms create a learning environment that accommodates independence, choice and most of all comfort. When setting up my own classroom years ago I often referred to Montessori’s Six Principles of the Prepared Environment; Freedom, Structure and Order, Beauty, Nature and Reality, Social Environment, and Intellectual Environment. Beauty dwells in each of these principles.

Freedom

In our prepared environment we must provide freedom of movement, of exploration, and social interaction. At the same time, we must protect the child’s wish to be left alone. I believe we often forget about this important implementation when setting up our environments. I found it was especially necessary in my own All Year class. In any class, whether it’s half day or full day, you should be offering the children spaces that encourage self-reflection and time to find that inner beauty as well. My All Year class offers families a place to leave their children for up to ten hours a day. Private areas are essential in order to maintain peace but more importantly, they provide comfort. We know that comfort often helps us to be happier, and when we are happy we tend to be more productive. Don’t minimize the importance of your environment set-ups. By creating a thoughtful and comfortable work environment, you are offering the children limitless possibilities.

Structure and order

Our prepared environments should provide structure and order and also be beautiful, inviting, simple, and well maintained. This is easier said than done. When do we have time for all of this? How many more hours in the day would we need to fulfill these crucial elements? Isn’t there already so much on our professional to do lists? Let me help you with this predicament. Reinvent your environments so that the children are actually responsible for the class. I know we want this for our children. Actually implement it! Empower them to be RESPONSIBLE for the class, the materials, their small community, and each other. There is likely still so much that we are doing for the children that they are perfectly capable of doing independently. Fresh from the training, it was my daily goal to have the class “ready” for the each child’s arrival. This made perfect sense to me. This is indeed what Dr. Montessori wanted . . . or was it? As time progressed in my new All- Year program I realized that the children couldn’t actually take ownership of their new class because much of the preparation was done before they even arrived. Needless to say, my assistant and I were also exhausted because we were tacking on even more time to an already long day. Eventually, with lessons, guidance, and patience and with structure and order there came a true sense of responsibility. Now, the children independently ready the class every morning with very little adult facilitation or interaction. Certainly, this is a point of arrival but a goal that every class should be striving towards.

The children are also perfectly capable of being responsible for each other. An example of this was how I was handling naptime. I would gather the little ones, settle them into their cots, and tuck them in each and every day. The routine was very dependent on me. I finally stepped back and also remembered a quote I had once read from The Montessori Method, “The teacher’s task is first to nourish and assist, to watch, encourage, guide, induce, rather than to interfere, prescribe, or restrict.” There was no question that I was interfering during naptime. I was stripping the children of an opportunity and of a freedom. Again, after many hours, days, and weeks of lessons given by myself, the oldest children of my class have taken on full ownership of putting down the youngest children for nap. They tuck the child in, read a book or sing a song. They may even rub a child’s back before leaving them to drift off to sleep. It has become a time of the day that used to feel stressful and hurried, but now it is a peaceful transition at a time the youngest of our class need it the most.

Nature

It has been a challenge for me to become inspired by nature living in Chicago. This is where creativity helps. Make use of what you have when you have it. Do all you can with the time you have outdoors even if it is a short window of opportunity. We know that nature inspires children and natural materials are essential elements in our environments. So, make each activity come alive by incorporating textures and color that surround us in our world. It is our responsibility to bring this outside world to the children within our small communities. In a time of developed technology, we should connect our children and ourselves with nature more closely than ever before. Carve out a significant amount of time for them to be outdoors. Gardening, painting, woodworking, bird- feeding, sweeping, shoveling, are just a few activities in which the children are connecting with their outdoor environment.

Reality

This is key in the tools and the objects we use in our prepared environments. They should be real, so that the child is actually able to complete a task with success. There is so much now available in order to make this possible and to enable the child to be successful while working. Reality in our materials also reminds me of what often occurs when a child in my casa greets a new visitor. Adorned with designated aprons, two children approach the adult first greeting and welcoming them into AYM, their home away from home. Soon after, they appear again, this time with a menu. Tea, coffee, cocoa, cappuccino, and handmade biscotti are just a few of the choices offered to this often taken aback visitor. The adult fully expects play food or drink to arrive after the children scurry away to prepare in the kitchen. Instead they are delighted to be the recipient of not only a warm welcome inspired from endless grace and courtesy work, but also refreshments made with love and pride.

The prepared environment is also a Social Environment. “What is social life if not the solving of social problems, behaving properly and pursuing aims acceptable to all? [It is not] sitting side by side and hearing someone else talk…” Maria Montessori, The Absorbent Mind. This is what makes our spaces so unique and special, children interrelating through work and play with their peers. With this interaction, empathy, compassion, kindness, and beautiful positive character traits are learned for life. There is beauty within each child that is nurtured and brought about through our Grace and Courtesy lessons. We were taught of these lessons their importance and the impact they could make on our environments, but these lessons are particularly easy to push to the side. We don’t see them. They are not visible on our shelves. Oftentimes we don’t see the positive impact within the lesson itself. Grace and Courtesy lessons petrified me in my first few years of teaching. Practical Life, Sensorial, Math, and Language, these lessons in our albums are so meticulously mapped out for us to follow step by step. Conversely, there is so much that can go horribly wrong in a grace and courtesy lesson. When Hildegard spoke of Grace and Courtesy she made it sound so easy, so magical, and so beautiful. It is all of that. Nonetheless, she neglected to tell me that there will be times that the children will find me uninteresting, my words will come out wrong, and occasionally they might even walk away in the midst of a lesson. I urge you to persevere! I did. Make grace and courtesy a priority at all ages. Don’t stop. Let it germinate in your environments. The list of possibilities is endless and at the same time critical in maintaining beauty within your environments: observing a friend, taking a turn, greeting a visitor, making an apology, and offering comfort . . . let these lessons reign! If you make Grace and Courtesy a priority, you will begin to see beauty in a different way – beauty in every interaction.

Finally, the prepared environment is an Intellectual Environment, which is the result of the five preceding ideals (freedom, structure and order, beauty, nature and reality, and social environment). Through these standards, carefully upheld in our environments, the whole personality of the child is developed. After reexamining these principles, hopefully you will be able to look at your environment with fresh eyes that are able to see beauty in everything, even on those particularly rough days in your classroom.

Hopefully it leaves you feeling light and energized, able to savor all the beautiful feelings, beautiful surroundings, beautiful interactions and beautiful people and if nothing else hopefully feeling just a little bit “ISH”.

Have a beautiful start to your school year.

If You Build it, They Will Come

Jennifer Rogers by | Montessori Blog

This summer we built a pond. Our sons were 16 and 12, and our daughter was 10. They grew up in Montessori classrooms that were beautiful, carefully prepared communities where they learned to concentrate, read, collaborate, and master difficult tasks. Their teachers instilled a deep reverence for the natural world. They are good readers, hard workers, respectful kids we have always enjoyed spending time with.

Nonetheless, for several age-appropriate reasons, it has lately been hard to do things as a family, extraordinarily difficult to find tasks that would engage their minds and their bodies. Our boys are growing so fast now, they spend the bulk of many days eating and sleeping. At some point in most conversations about road trips, or bike rides, gardening, or trips to the parks and festivals that used to thrill them, one of the boys will usually ask, “do I have too?” So this summer, instead of a family vacation, we built a pond in our own backyard.

Like most amateur projects, building a pond was much harder than we expected, and took weeks longer than we predicted. It’s finished now, full of fish, tadpoles with little legs, and aquatic plants. It’s a simple design, like a Beatrix Potter illustration, except instead of a peaceful white kitten perched on the edge of the water, we have a rowdy black spaniel and a Labrador puppy. Our dogs enjoy the pond by barking at the fish, lapping the water, and occasionally falling in.

It was our oldest son’s idea to build a pond. When we moved into our home three years ago, he pointed at a recessed area of our tiny backyard and said, “that’s the perfect spot for a pond.” At the time, we thought his idea was ridiculous. We finally agreed to build a pond for reasons that only make sense if you surrender to the peculiar logic of teens. They said they had always wanted bullfrog tadpoles, and they had identified a spot for hammock-poles.

Pond-building procedures are, at the time and in retrospect, incredibly tedious. We checked all the pond-building books out from our public library, sketched plans and ideas, bought a third shovel and took turns digging until our arms, legs, lower backs, and feet ached. Spreading mulch is a dirty, miserable job in July. The low point was losing hold of the wheelbarrow in the front yard, watching a full load of mulch fall into the grass. The high point was watching our middle son set his rake aside and persuade his big brother to take phone-photos of him. He stood on a stone in the middle of the pond, striking the yoga balancing poses he first learned in his primary Montessori class. He was covered with pre-teen sweat and dirt. “We don’t want to forget this moment, mom.”

We made three trips to a local quarry. Altogether, we hauled more than 2000 pounds of rock home in our mini-van. On our third trip from the drive-on scale to the quarry office where we would pay pay for our rocks, I noticed the sign on the door, “No sandals or children in the quarry.”

“Oops,” I said. “At least we all have tennis shoes on.” My kids were covered in dust, still wearing work gloves. “Good thing I didn’t see that sign. I needed your help.” It was an honest mistake. I did not intentionally break the rules, but I do also know that three kids were engaged in work that was incredibly difficult because their labor was essential. They knew I could not haul that much rock without their help. Breaking the rule was worth it. Purposeful work is as motivating for teens as it is for three-year olds.

We toted the rocks into our backyard, one or two at a time, washed them with the garden hose, and began stacking, arranging, and re-arranging. My husband installed a filter, built a waterfall around the pump, and installed three small lights. Then we added goldfish and tadpoles. It was a fine, fine moment.

Several weeks later, grandma called. She was at a local garden shop, looking at fish. Could she buy one fish and put it in our pond, she wondered. She wanted permission, and she wanted to make sure her fish was different, so she could distinguish it from the others. “That way, I’ll have my own fish to look for when I come over.” Grandma’s fish is the only black and orange koi. When she comes, she knows who to look for.

Our oldest son says he’d like to build a small bridge next summer, a task he mastered in his elementary Montessori class years ago. Building a bridge would be an appropriate task for a young man just two years away from college. He is already the tallest member of the family, already venturing away from us in ways that are both wonderful and, for us, a little sad.

One Saturday evening during pond construction, my freshly-showered, exhausted husband said he had recently paused in the hallway, in front of the shelves that remain full of children’s story books. Our kids have outgrown bedtime stories, but we have not yet put the books in storage. “I read those books every night for years,” he said. “I feel like they are part of me.”

Our hope is that building a pond will be something like that, for our children, and for us. When they are grown, we hope we will stand beside our pond, step on the stones we hauled, walk across the bridge we have not yet built, and feel like the pond is a part of the life of our family, hard work, imperfect, alive, and growing.

All Day – All Year Montessori: A Living Community

Michele Aspinall by | Montessori Blog

I love Montessori. Not merely the materials and the way that they call to each child at different stages of development. I love Montessori as a way of living. I love the endless opportunities that a Montessori environment offers each child who enters it. I love the way that the small community that is created accepts every new child as if he was a long-lost family member reunited. I love that the “oldest” children in the environment not only teach the youngest; they mentor, nurture, adore, and protect them. So, why tack on a Before or After school Program at the beginning and end of a child’s school day? Is it truly to suit the child or is it simply easier for the adults to sustain? Throughout the years, I have become a bit of a crusader of All Day Montessori. I am an advocate of eliminating before and after school care in Montessori schools in order to encourage all of these wonderful things to continue to grow into something that resembles a living community: All Day and ideally All Year.

Every day for the last twenty years I have been fortunate enough to call two very special places “home”. I can say with confidence that the children who I share my professional space with today also see it as a home away from home. How can I be so sure? Well, if you were to ask me the same question within the first five years of this very unstable All Day, All Year program I would have likely cried and then said that I wasn’t sure of anything on any given day. If it weren’t for those first terribly unsettling years, I would not be able to say with confidence that children who stay at school for longer hours than a traditional school day, are best served in a Montessori classroom ALL DAY LONG. Their classroom. Their space. Isn’t that what we might call authentic Montessori?

There is a need for longer hours at school. There is no disputing that. Parents are workers and workers are parents, both out of necessity and preference. That’s in large part because many families in today’s economy rely on two incomes in order to pay the bills. The traditional primary class model is one that provides a school day from 8:30 am-3:00 pm. In order to meet the needs of parents and their demanding work schedules, many schools today offer before and after-school care. We (Countryside Montessori School) started, as many do, with a daycare set-up that was offered in the morning before the children went to their Montessori environments and then again after school when class ended. We offered 7:00 am drop- off, which included a light breakfast (cereal, toast, etc.). Also offered, was 12:00 pm lunch drop-in, which included lunch for children too young to stay for extended day. Finally, there was also an after-school option of 3:00 pm – 6:00 pm. This before/after care room could accommodate approximately 35 children at one time. It was available year-round, and only closed on major holidays. Parents could sign-up for any or all of those options – some even on a daily basis. It was named “Care Club”. When Care Club began almost 40 years ago, it contained no Montessori materials. The room was equipped with books, puzzles, blocks and traditional toys. I began directing Care Club when I joined the Countryside staff thirty years ago.

As many daycares can become, the program was essentially a revolving door for adults. The children could never really be sure of who was coming and going. Keeping ground rules consistent was unrealistic. Adults aside, the number of transitions in the children’s day was enough to make anyone feel muddled. Try to imagine every two to three hours being asked to pack up all your stuff and move to another room after you have finally settled in.

The day went a little bit like this for most children in Care Club: Having been pulled out of bed early in order to get to school on time, most days started badly for many children. After breakfast, they played with toys for a short time and then were asked to gather their belongings (again) and head to their Montessori class. After the morning class, all non-extended day children would come back to the day care room to have lunch and nap. After naps, the youngest children would play for a bit and at 3:00pm the extended day and elementary children enrolled in daycare would join us. The daycare room was located in the middle of the school so there would often be groups of children walking past the room to go home. For the daycare children, this was yet another reminder that they were different. Looking back, it is so clear why they weren’t interested in becoming connected to anything . . . they were simply waiting. Waiting for someone to tell them where to go next.

At the time, it seemed to make sense that the children needed “a break” in their day and the way to meet that need was to supply them with material that you’d find in their homes. Toys! As far as the toy selections in Care Club . . . well, they were endless. Subsequently, I felt that if I skimmed back and really focused on making good choices to place in the room, it would make a difference in the children’s behavior. I brought in toys and games that involved concentration and cooperation. However, it didn’t take long to figure out that it made little difference what kind of toy I put on the shelves . . . the children were equally abusive with each one. I’ll be honest with you, it didn’t feel right or even comfortable, but it was representative of how we often see children interact with each other in similar settings. Also, at this time I was not yet Montessori trained. It simply didn’t occur to me that it could be better.

There was something different about the day-care children, this was apparent. They were detached and uninspired with their daycare environment as well as their Montessori classrooms. In the daycare environment they bickered, damaged materials, they were careless and uninterested; in the classroom, they were only concerned with being with each other and waiting for Care Club to begin. What were the children trying to tell us? We continued to observe and explore, exhausting many possibilities along the way. We tried: adding more toys, limiting toys, adding service-oriented tasks for the All-Year elementary, and finally bringing in some practical life-type activities. After all of our best attempts failed, it was time to seek outside assistance. This day, I remember like no other. This is the day Carol Alver turned my world upside down . . . in a good way. I recall vividly when Carol and I sat down to talk about Care Club. I thought she would give me a few enlightening suggestions on how to make some minor tweaks to the program. This was not the case. In a nutshell, Carol said that it all had to go. The toys, the games, the “Day Care” environment had to go. She proposed that we create an All-Year Montessori environment with hours that would accommodate working parents, but most importantly provide the children with a place that they could call their own. I was rattled and fairly uncertain if I had a job the following day.

The school, however, was intrigued. We were not in the position to make the changes that were necessary to do it the right way. So I continued on, doing my best to offer the children an enriching Day Care environment. In the meantime, I also decided to embark on the AMI primary training. At the same time, our Head of School, Annette Kulle charged Wendy Calise, our Educational Director, with the responsibility of devising a daycare program that was pedagogically sound. She was specifically not to be influenced by the needs of parents; the realities of staffing; the space for such a program; the cost of such a program; or even whether we wanted to do such a program. While I kept myself busy with the training, Wendy was doing her own homework on how to make Carol’s idea work.

Two years later we took the plunge. These were the parameters that were devised for a new All-Year environment:

  • All children enrolled in AYM would be in one class. This would mean pulling the day care children from other primary classes and forming a new fourth class
  • The daycare hours would be shortened, taking a half an hour off each end of the day
  • There was no reason that children should not be in a Montessori environment all day long
  • Transitions needed to be limited
  • Three staff members for the All-year class were sufficient, one trained directress and two full-time assistants
  • In order for the All-Year Montessori teacher to not feel 2nd class – her number of days off would be the same as all other teachers in the school
  • The class size would be 30 – 35 children
  • AYM would need more space than a traditional class
  • The room would be designed so that no other children would need to pass through to go home
  • There would be a place (vestibule) for parents to wait when picking up their children
  • There would be a full kitchen
  • And finally, the program needed to be pedagogically sound

There was no doubt that these children were particularly sensitive to transition. Consequently, I made certain that there were few variations that occurred in their day. However, I really wanted to make their day seamless. Not an easy task with so many hours to consider. Also, there weren’t many successful models to follow. There seems to still remain many educators who feel that children need constant change to keep their interest. We had learned first hand in Care Club that it couldn’t be farther from the truth. So this is what I did . . . I observed. And then when I thought I had enough information, I observed some more. Through my observations, I had discovered countless shifts throughout the school day that were not only disruptive but robbed the children of the ownership that they needed in order to finally settle into THEIR class.

The All-Year class is almost 20 years old and in the best place it has ever been. Currently, the class consists of thirty-five children. We are open from 7:30 – 5:30m, 245 days a year. I continue to be the directress in the environment, and I have two assistant teachers. As previously mentioned, this place has become a home away from home for me and for hundreds of children over the years. As difficult as it was in the beginning to make the change, I can’t imagine working and living in any other environment.

When pondering the idea of Montessori all-day long it would be foolish to not reflect on the very first Children’s House. In 1906 Montessori worked with a group of sixty young children of working parents in the San Lorenzo district of Rome. It was there that she founded the first Casa, essentially what we now are calling All-Year Montessori. ‘There is a great sense of community within the Montessori classroom, where children of differing ages work together in an atmosphere of cooperation rather than competitiveness. There is respect for the environment and for the individuals within it, which comes through experience of freedom within the community.’ Dr. Maria Montessori (cited in Elizabeth Hainstock, 1986, p. 81 – The Essential Montessori). I am living in a community such as this every day. It allows the younger child to experience the daily incentive of older role models, who in turn flourish through the responsibility of leadership. This cycle is continuous, as those being mentored successively aspire to be the role model. Three to six-year-olds remaining in the same class ALL DAY innately eliminates all titles that the children naturally impose on each other. There are no morning children, extended day kids, or even “kindergarten” labels. They are all in it together . . . everyday. They are classmates. They are friends. They become a family. This environment also promotes the understanding that children not only learn ‘with’ each other but ‘from’ each other, minimizing the need for adult guidance and intervention. The peer teaching in an all year environment has limitless boundaries. The robust sense of community allows the children to become confident in their environment and in themselves, using the knowledge and skills they acquire to express their own ideas and creativity. It assists them in recognizing their value, to respect the creative process of others, and develop a willingness to share, regardless of the risks.

On any given morning, the delicious fragrances of cinnamon French toast, multi-grain waffles, banana pancakes or cheesy skillet scrambled eggs can be enjoyed throughout the halls of the school. As early as 7:30 am, parents escort children into a vestibule that leads into our AYM class. After good-byes are said at the entrance, the child walks independently into the classroom and the parent sets off to work. The child then tends to his belongings and walks into the kitchen area that is adjoining the class. At this time, he has the choice of either having the hot breakfast that is being prepared by his peers or beginning his day in the class. Once breakfast is made and all morning responsibilities have been fulfilled, the children sit to eat family-style. Some words of thanks for the bountiful meal are shared and then thirty-something children begin their feast. Conversation, laughter, and quiet reflection can all be observed during breakfast all year round. It is a perfect way to ease into a day.

As children finish up and breakfast comes to a close, there is more activity just beginning in the classroom. Children arriving after 8:00 am have already eaten breakfast at home and oftentimes are the ones preparing the class for readiness. In an All Day environment where we want the children to ultimately claim complete ownership, it is essential that they partake in the everyday class preparatory tasks that traditionally the adults are accustomed to completing. A variety of work can be observed in AYM anytime between 8:30 and 11:30; the traditional Montessori materials are in constant use as well as activities such as: baking snack for the class, tending to the garden, watercolor painting or cleaning an animal cage. By 10:30 am the children have already emptied the dishwasher twice. In addition, the laundry has been loaded, unloaded and folded for lunch preparation. In every corner of the room, real, purposeful activity can be observed. A living, working community.

Around 11:30 am a few children slowly begin to wash up and wander into the dining area once again to begin lunch set-up. At 11:45 there still may be a child finishing up a word with the moveable alphabet that he is anxious to get down on his rug before joining us for lunch. There is no hurry we have time. Preparation, eating, and clean up takes us close to an hour and a half. Mealtime is an opportunity for growth. Grace and Courtesy lessons have become as important to me as any other tangible material that can be found on the shelves of the classroom. These are life lessons. They are critical in order to maintain peace and harmony within a very extended day together.

After our second meal of the day, we retreat to our backyard. Most of the children in AYM are at school for ten hours a day. Outdoor play is a must, no matter what the weather brings. A few of the very youngest children who need an afternoon nap settle in shortly after some time outside. The oldest children are partnered up with the youngest to tuck them in, sing a song or rub their backs for comfort. When the others are ready to come in from outside, we gather for a few minutes to discuss the day or what’s to come in that particular week. We then begin our second three-hour work period of the day. This is commonly when I observe the most focused work, sometimes from the youngest in the class. It is not unusual to see a child completely engaged in his work at 5:00 pm. For the last hour, the All Year Elementary children typically go outside or to the gym for some large movement. A handful of the three to six year olds who need large movement join the elementary students. The primary children truly value their time with the elementary group. It is another wondrous occasion for peer teaching to take place on a different level.

I am still faced with some apprehension and a smidge of resistance when visiting schools who are considering an All Day model in replacement of their before and aftercare. The hesitance is typically coming from the staff, the teachers who will ultimately have to make the shift from a traditional school day. I get it. Change is hard. Most of us today live in places that lack community. Neighborhoods aren’t what they used to be. Parents and children aren’t home long enough to develop the kinds of relationships with their neighbors that we had long ago. That’s why it’s so crucial that we help to nurture and inspire the children who stay at school for longer hours to develop a community within our Montessori classrooms. Being involved in a community of friends is vital in the growth and development of our children. Community offers support, a sense of belonging, a strong sense of self and of connection. The children feel emotionally and physically safe and valued; they develop social abilities and have a sense of sharing and caring for each other. Let’s work together to continue to create and develop these All Day/All Year communities. Anything of real value is worth the struggle. The children certainly are.

Why Wait

Jennifer Rogers by | Montessori Blog

“Education cannot be effective unless it helps a child to open up himself to life.” -Maria Montessori, The Discovery of the Child

Anna

Many years ago, I had a student who was an unintentional and most unlikely source of great inspiration. Where Anna is now, I couldn’t say. I suppose she is in the midst of a successful college career. When I first knew her, she was three years old, smart and strong-willed, the cherished daughter of older Russian parents. For the first year I knew her, Anna was completely silent.

Though her mother reported she spoke “like a storybook” at home, in both English and Russian, at school she said nothing. Anna was attentive, cooperative, and seemingly quite happy. She attended small and large group lessons, listened politely, and nodded at appropriate moments. We often noticed her lips moving when we sang, but her singing was without voice.

We never understood why Anna did not speak. Though she looked content, we wondered if this first separation from the Russian grandparents who had cared for her since infancy might have been traumatic for Anna. Anna’s mother seemed attuned and honest. She was neither critical nor concerned. “It will pass,” she said. “She is fine.”

I continued to worry.

In January, I asked an old friend to observe Anna in my class. “Tell me what to do,” I begged him. He was older than I, much more experienced and confident, on the brink of retirement but still successful in all his endeavors. The morning he came to observe, he stayed in my classroom less than 15 minutes.

“You know what you are going to do?” he said. “Nothing!” He pointed his index finger at me to emphasize his certainty. “This is a beautiful classroom, full of active, happy kids. The environment you prepared is calling Anna. Eventually, she will answer.”

He pointed at me again, smiling. “You wait,” he said, and left.

A month later, three five-year-old girls stood near Anna, talking about a weekend trip to a local ice rink. “I like to skate,” Anna said.

Five-year-old Samantha turned to Anna, smiling. “Do you skate with your friends or with your family?” she asked. “I like to skate with my big sister,” Anna replied.

Samantha extended her little hand for Anna, and the two girls walked off together to continue their conversation in a small group. There was no fanfare, no celebration, just a quiet, long-awaited conversation among friends.

After that first timid conversation with friends, Anna spoke freely, with animation and intelligence. The next morning, when she arrived at the door of our classroom, she shook my hand as she always had, then smiled and said, for the first time, “Good morning Mrs. Rogers. It’s good to see you.” Over the next few days, she demonstrated that she had memorized and could reproduce all the Sandpaper Letter sounds. She began working with the Moveable Alphabet with obvious delight.

It felt like a miracle. It still does.

Amanda

More recently, a parent of one of the oldest children in my class came to the first conference of the year eager to tell me a story. She began describing the behavior of another student, our newest, tactfully avoiding his name. She related her daughter Amanda’s initial shock at the boy’s disorderly conduct and his most unfortunate word-choice. That boy blossomed into a fine member of our community, a good friend to many and an admired leader, but at the time of our first conferences that year, our situation was dire.

Panic rose within me as her stories drew to a close. The tales were true. There was no doubt in my mind whom she was talking about, but I was not sure how to reassure her or respond to her concerns.

As so often happened with this remarkable parent, I underestimated her.

“Here’s what I wanted to tell you,” she said. “I was upset when I listened to Amanda’s stories about this child. I asked Amanda if she had told you. You know what she said?” Here she paused, for dramatic effect.

“She said, ‘Oh mom. Why would I tell Mrs. Rogers? She already knows. It’s going to take a long time. But it will be OK. We can handle it.’”

Her eyes were full of tears. “Can you believe that? My five-year-old daughter is wiser and more patient than I am. I’ve never been so proud. Thank you. I am so grateful.”

Learning to Wait

A casual observer would miss much of the learning and growth the goes on in a Montessori classroom. Many of the experiences of greatest value to a growing child are not apparent they are so embedded in the routine that children and adults rarely notice their impact.

Montessori classrooms are unusually active, just two adults with a large group of children of mixed ages. With very few exceptions, classrooms are prepared with just one of each material available for use. These decisions – large communities of mixed ages of children, few adults and few materials – are deliberate choices intended to help children learn when and how to seek help, how to make independent decisions and, most importantly, how to wait.

Children in Montessori classroom are not expected to take turns or share. If a child is working with a material, she is free to work at her own pace, for as long as she desires. Other children who might like to work with the material are learning to wait. Additionally, when a child needs help, he might not have immediate access to the teacher or the assistant. When a teacher is giving a lesson, observing, or otherwise engaged, children can either seek help from another child, or wait.

Young children whose parents report regular tantrums and fits of rage at home demonstrate great patience in the school community. Why? At any given moment, in any well-prepared Montessori classroom, the same child who can be frighteningly impatient at home is surrounded by children who are actively waiting. Learning to wait is an unarticulated expectation. The prepared environment demands it.

Ideas for Parents

“These are the joys which prepare a man for life and are the only ones that are really suitable for the education of children.” -Maria Montessori, The Discovery of the Child

The world our children are growing up in is so mechanized, efficiency-oriented, and virtual — helping children learn to wait requires parents make deliberate, conscientious choices about how they spend time with their children. Most of the experiences and entertainment for children offer immediate, constant feedback and demand very little attention. Waiting is a soft skill, but it is also the precursor to the virtues of perseverance. The ability to actively wait is the cornerstone of success in any arena.

Some Ideas

  • Gardens: For many years, my husband planted moonflower seeds with our young children. There is nothing to compare with the just-before-bedtime delight when the first fragrant blossom opened outside our back door. I have also been the grateful recipient of flowers a child planted at home and picked before school. Vegetables in the ground . . .tomatoes in a barrel . . . geraniums in a can on the window sill. . .marigolds by the mailbox . . .every seed planted and cared for by a child is an opportunity to learn that growing things takes attention and time.
  • Cooking/baking: The only experience more valuable than sharing a meal with a child is first preparing it. Waiting for bread to rise, or cookies to bake, or soup to boil fills a home with good smells and good feelings. Most families cannot manage a sit-down meal as often as we would like, but every meal prepared together and shared at a table is a gift and an investment in the health of a child and her family. Really.
  • Road Trip: Infants and toddlers gain nothing from hours strapped in car seats and carriers. Older kids can, however, learn a great deal from trips with maps in their laps and a destination to explore. Too often, our children travel great distances so quickly and with such little thought or attention, they return home with no idea where they have been or how many miles they traveled.
  • Read Aloud: Often. One of the simplest, most valuable joys of childhood is listening to a story. Even when a story is often repeated, children love waiting to hear what happens next. There are now so many beautifully illustrated books for children, waiting for the page to turn is a real source of joy for kids whose parents make time to sit down beside a child with a book in hand. As children grow older and can listen attentively to chapter books, they also spend a full day anticipating the next night’s reading.

We Never Stop Learning to Wait

“Before anyone can assume a responsibility, he must be convinced that he is the master of his own actions and have confidence in himself.” -Maria Montessori, The Secret of Childhood

One of the first times I had a Montessori consultation, I was working in a classroom situated at the end of the hallway the children walked down as they entered the school. Eager to observe the morning greetings and, I suppose, to see the expressions of the children as they entered the school, our consultant began her day sitting in a chair just inside the door to my classroom.

That year I had a little boy in my class who was autistic. When he saw the smiling stranger seated within his classroom, he screamed in terror, turned and ran back down the hallway. Horrified, I made eye contact with my assistant and very quickly left the classroom, feeling certain the consultant must already be convinced I was incompetent and unworthy of my position.

My terrified young student stopped when he saw me and sat down to cry in the hallway. “It’s OK,” I said, “She is my friend.” Then I stood waiting, until he took my hand and joined me as we returned together to a classroom that was by now in full swing.

I spent the day dreading my after-school conference with the consultant.

“Well, Jennifer,” she said as we sat alone together in my classroom. “Wonderful.” Then she paused, smiling, allowing her encouragement to sink in.

“First, I love how you left your classroom in the care of your assistant to follow the child who needed you most. Your classroom functions well when you are not present. That is as it should be.”

“Second, I love how you waited for him. That is what he needed. We teachers often want to swoop in and fix things, acting out our own fear and anxiety. You gave him the time he needed to recover, and you allowed him to feel in control of his situation once again. Well done.”

The conversation continued. I had much to learn from the consultant. I still do. Each of her comments was so accurate and so gracefully communicated, the entire conversation still resonates. She reminded me that we never stop learning how to wait, but each pause is significant. Real growth, she said, continues only when we act with an intelligence informed by a long vision of an unfolding life.

Disclaimer for Parents: If a trusted teacher or doctor has suggested an evaluation or therapeutic intervention for a speech, language processing, or other developmental delay, waiting is not a good strategy. Early intervention saves lives. A “wait and see” approach rarely helps a struggling child.