books

20 Dec

Consider The Audience

The benefits of reading aloud to young children are well documented. The only controversial question on the topic is boring. Teachers usually ask the question in the shrill, exasperated voice that unfortunately fits our stereotype: Why are there still so many parents who don’t read to their children?

Many parents do, of course, carve out time most days to sit down and read to our kids. We enjoy picking out new books. We have read some of our favorites so often the books have to be replaced, but we keep the old copies because there are so many memories associated with the kids we read to.

Nonetheless, there have always been too many children who enter school having never been read to. Working parents are often too tired at the end of the day, or too busy all day. Some parents are discouraged when children will not sit still long enough to listen. Many parents do not know how to pick books their young children will enjoy. In truth, each of these excuses – busy, tired, frustrated and overwhelmed – is true for most of us, some or all of the time.

It has never been hard to manufacture good reasons for not reading, but changes in technology have offered more convincing excuses to avoid sitting down beside a child with a book. Audio books are easily accessible, and in many cases, the recordings are exceptionally well done. Most popular children’s books have been made into more-popular movies. Hand-held and touch-screen devices allow the youngest children make independent choices, adjust the pace and volume of reading, stop and start at the times they select.

Without a dedicated adult and a book to hold, though, there is no dialogue, no warmth, and no love.

Advice

Here is the simplest, most effective advice, a three-word mantra for read-aloud parents: Consider your audience.

Try it, as I do, several times a day. In less time than it takes to finish the phrase in my mind, I am thinking of a particular child, or a group of kids, their ages and interests, the things they talk about, the subjects that make them laugh, and their attention spans. In a few seconds, I have all the information I need to make a good choice. It’s a tiny, internal flip, but it changes everything. Instead of beginning with a concern, or a sense of duty, or a desire to find the perfect bedtime story, the question turns my attention towards the kids I love.

Happily, the same “consider the audience” advice also works well while reading. Bad book choices are easily identified and replaced. Watching and listening while reading gives teachers and parents all the feedback we need. Humor, fear and confusion are hard to predict, but easy to notice. Maurice Sendak’s monsters are usually not scary, but Mr. McGregor in his garden is often terrifying. Mo Willems is not at all funny unless you read his books with a child. With a child as a reading companion, his characters and the situations he creates are hilarious.

Motivation

One of the strongest motivators for very young children who are just acquiring language is an earnest, urgent desire to express their needs and opinions. (For proof, watch a parent struggle with an unhappy infant, or a toddler in the midst of a tantrum). The same strength of character is revealed when a child is learning to listen. The youngest child will listen attentively when he is interested and has opportunities to respond with opinions and observations. If a child is bored, disconnected or disengaged, he will indeed walk away.

The desire to read begins when a child wants to know more about a subject, or when a story is so interesting she cannot bear for it to end, or when she wants to be like a loved, admired adult. Children who have been read to have longer attention spans, are more engaged, and more motivated. In short, children who have been read to enter school with the habits of good learners already firmly established.

20 Sep

It’s A Material World

by Sveta Pais | Montessori Blog

11 Comments

I have recently become aware that in the arena of Montessori parenting, I am quite the old fuddy-duddy. My first child was born in an age before the release of the iPhone 3G. Conversely, by the time my second child entered the Children’s House, I owned an iPhone larger than the size of her head!

picture of girl sewing — © Maria Montessori

In the olden days, circa 2008, I primarily relied on, for my Montessori information, the Prospective Parent classes at the Montessori School to which our daughter awaited admission. I read a handful of articles by Donna Bryant Goertz and a couple of books: Lillard and Jessen’s “Montessori from the Start,” and “The Absorbent Mind” by Maria Montessori. What I find nowadays, as I encounter those embarking on their Montessori journey, is parents who are inundated with “Montessori-inspired” information from blogs and social media. For some, this plethora of knowledge is useful, for others intimidating, but all too often I find it concerningly misleading or just plain inaccurate. It raises the question: How did I get by all those years in preparing a suitable home environment for my Montessori family, with nary a website in sight?

What is important to my Montessori experience, is access to a school that does very well in supporting parents in bridging their children’s lives between school and home. This support has less to do with materials provided the children- the premise of many a Montessori blog – but, rather, those intangible gifts that support and sustain a wholesome existence: adequate sleep, nutrition, time in nature, screen free living and a family culture where parents are present to their children and each other. The school calls this bridge “Partnership”.

For those Montessori families who do not have the benefit of such partnership, how do we cross that bridge? These are the basic lessons my husband and I took away from our children’s school, which helped us foster the culture of our Montessori home:

In a Montessori home, all obstacles to the child’s struggle for independence and full participation are removed before adding anything. In her book, The Absorbent Mind, Dr. Montessori said that a child’s conquest for independence begins at birth, and that “the child will overcome every obstacle that he finds in his path”. If we believe this to be true, why not just remove obstacles to make a child’s path to independence that much less frustrating, and so much more rewarding? In our home, we have found obstacles to be our own agendas as adults, screens, a propensity to collect belongings that are manageable (or even helpful) for us as adults but are overwhelming and depriving for our children, and expectations of our children that are outside of what is developmentally possible.
In a Montessori home, adults and children work to co-exist harmoniously. From the moment one enters our home, it is evident that children live here, and alongside them, adults. It’s not bright colors or presence of cartoon characters that indicate the lives of our children. Instead, their things are just things, made of natural materials, even fragile, but child size. Where child-size is not possible, like a sink or kitchen counter, there are stools for independence.
In a Montessori home, the needs and the natural development of each child is honored. Being almost six years apart in age, our children will be in two different planes of development until adulthood. We respect this by creating individual spaces for each child, but provide opportunities for them to peacefully cohabitate with each other. For example, our 3-year-old has a small selection of books available in a way that makes it manageable for her to use and put away. In the cabinet next to her book sling is housed our 8-year-old’s set of World Book Encyclopedias. They share the comfortable chairs designated for reading.
In a Montessori home, children are fully participating members of the family. We’ve all experienced those Christmas mornings when the new toys are ignored, but significant time is spent manipulating the boxes in which they were packaged. Certainly toys such as puzzles, blocks, balls, even dolls are enjoyed at our home, but it’s the “wavy chopper” (a child-safe knife) that gets most use. Everyone digs in when there is work to be done, and these are not “chores”; they are just part of our responsibilities as members of a family, and we refer to them as such.
In a Montessori home, children have freedom of choice within a framework of firm and cheerful boundaries, set by their parents. Although the necessary self-regulation can be hard work for some parents, it is possible to hold our boundaries with our children in a friendly and respectful manner. There are times, for instance, when I am short on time and energy, and I want to cook dinner by myself, much to the consternation of my 3-year-old who wants to help. On those days, I have to check in with myself first, connect with my children, set my expectation of them without any ambiguity, and then get on with my task. Although handing her my mammoth phone for distraction would certainly be easier, what I would sadly lose is my daughter’s interest in working alongside me the next night in favor of a more addictive, albeit purposeless, pastime. These are the times when a home environment that is prepared for our children’s self-directed activity is worth even more than the effort in gold.
In a Montessori home, and I should perhaps have put this at the top of the list, parents are continually working on being consistent with each other and with their children. When my husband and I married 13 years ago we were of different religious persuasions, and I found myself slightly offended by the writer Paul’s biblical assertion that “believers should be yoked to believers”. After having children, however, my eyes opened to Paul’s analogy of the wooden bar that “yoked” two oxen as they ploughed. Regardless of our beliefs or spiritual practices, the yoke symbolizes to me the constant communication that needs to occur between parents, so that the work they do together is lighter. With parents working as a united team, family life is mutually supported and joyful.

img_3307-material-world-medium — ©MariaMontessori.com

With my somewhat seasoned and old-fashioned experience as a Montessori parent, I am sometimes disheartened that the true essence of the Montessori philosophy is lost in an age of information and a culture of consumerism. Do our children need those toys which are suggested will “Montessori-fy” their lives, when the day goes by so much more pleasantly outside with a ball? And is there really such a thing as a “Montessori-friendly” television show or app, regardless of how steeped it is in reality?

I contend that we need to get back to basics, and provide for our children a home life that is rich in human connection, and one, as Dr. Montessori said, “invites the child to conduct his own experiences”. In a material world, the best we can offer our children is everything they need; and nothing that they don’t.

27 Jun

Summertime and the Montessori Child

by Charlotte Kroger | Montessori Blog

4 Comments

For children who are at home during the summer break, parents will wish to work diligently with slowing the pace of life. Children will savor the leisurely passage of time in which they can relish individual choices, uninterrupted play, ample rest and sleep, unhurried meals and unplugged screens. Here are just a few ideas of how a child can fill her long lovely summer days and return to school refreshed, nourished and eager:

Read beautiful, appropriate books (remember, the school has book lists to offer). For the older Children’s House child, begin a chapter book that will develop into a repetitive ritual that she will look forward to and remember with warmth and happiness. Have long leisurely conversations about the characters, the places visited, the sights and smells. Provide large blank sheets of paper and crayons or watercolors and invite the child to illustrate parts of the story she remembers. Collect these into a handmade book of illustrations.

Provide long extended periods of outside play with freedom to construct, dig, shovel and explore to heart’s content. Resist staging and choosing for the child and instead, encourage the blossoming of his own imaginative play efforts.

Do not be afraid of boredom, for this is the passage to imaginative, interesting activity of the child’s own choosing.

Resist the need to provide a playmate or to be a playmate for your child on a regular basis, but instead, honor her ability to find her own entertainment and source of activity. Play-dates are fine for an occasional get-together, but children really do enjoy their own company when given the opportunity to figure it out and enact upon their own ingenuity. The child’s play will reflect what is going on in her world, for this is the source of her imaginings.

Try to develop a schedule with shared responsibilities by the adults so that the children are left with large blocks of uninterrupted play (which is their summer ‘work’). Shopping is really an adult activity and few children derive any enrichment from the ordeal of being taken from store to store.

Border a portion of the garden/yard for the child to tend with appropriate size tools and gear. Give just enough guidance and instruction so that she will know how to use the tools and how to tend her section. Be friendly with error as she learns this craft. Also, a small portion of the yard can be cordoned for digging exploration and the collecting of objects found. Provide a tray and space to store these treasures. The goal is that these activities will be something the child wishes to return to often and engage in at will. Small creatures/insects that are encountered are respected by observing them in their natural habitat. Books are read as encounters are made. Let it be an organic development.

Include practical life experiences in your child’s day that will provide ritual, a marking of passage of time and a sense of responsibility in family life:
- Sweeping designated areas inside and/or out
- Washing windows with a spray bottle of vinegar water and wiping them clean with newspaper
- Sorting and loading laundry into the washing machine
- Folding laundry together
- Setting the table, clearing the table after a meal
- Helping peel vegetables for dinner
- Ironing (older children) the napkins and small cloths (under the watchful eye of an adult, using a mildly warm small iron)
- Making the bed together
- Culling through toys and deciding what to discard and what to keep
- Washing shoes, especially the outdoor play shoes that will probably need refreshing

A few short day trips that the children can participate in the planning and executing of the events can result in happy moments for summertime:

A visit to the Austin Children’s Museum
A visit to McKinney Falls State Park, with a basket lunch prepared
A visit to the Ladybird Johnson Wildflower Center (skip the shop and focus on the natural environment)
An hour of play and lunch on the grounds of a local park/playground, particularly if within walking/biking distance

Occasionally a parent will ask guidance about working with their child on academic work during the summer break, mostly out of concern for the child’s ability to sustain previous learning. We encourage the parent to recognize that the child needs the balance offered by a summer of relaxation and reflection. It is in the reflection that true, deep- seated learning takes place. Just as in the classroom the guide can observe children engaged in reflection following an engrossing, focused work (be it washing a table with vigor and precision or exploring the operations of addition with the stamp game), and she will respect this moment, children will use their summer down-time to reflect on what they have already achieved in the school year. This will be observed in their desire to do a practical life activity spontaneously (one mother related to me that her child, immediately after breakfast, collected his bucket and sponge and cleaned the refrigerator and repeated this exercise several times during the summer), or a desire to write a letter or a word or a story, depending upon his development, or work some simple math combinations. I tell parents that it is fine to follow the child’s lead in these activities, to answer the child’s questions (‘how is number five written?” or ‘how is the word kitten written”- hint: we sound it out ‘k i t i n’). Having papers of various colors and sizes, along with crayons (and pencils for those children who have been introduced to the metal inset work), available in a container and accessible to children for spontaneous work and creation will go a long way in providing them an opportunity to put into concrete form their reflections of previous learning. Spontaneous reflection of this nature will allow the child space to engage his mind academically without the pressures of additional formal lessons. I also like to remind parents that when we write in front of the children, we use beautiful, well-formed cursive letters.

Sharing the summertime break with extended family and friends offers not only time to catch up on each other’s lives and experiences but also often provides challenges on how to continue on the path one has thought through with intention and care that the child is not exposed to media content or entertainment inappropriate to her development. We accept other’s choices of both lifestyle and family values but remain dedicated to our child’s developmental stage and needs of rest, appropriate nourishment and contact with the outdoor world.

Whenever the families we love and long to spend time with have differing lifestyles, we must be the ones to consider alternatives that are thoughtfully offered. Perhaps we can research and offer a vacation spot that is equal-distant from each group and plan to rendezvous because there is a wealth of outdoor environment of woods for walking, water for swimming, lawn for play, places to set up lunch in the open air and enjoy long, lazy get-togethers while over- seeing the combined brood of children – and the media has been left behind.

If the extended family is local and just a drive away, perhaps we can take the initiative to organize several play days for whole groups outdoors in one of the local parks. This could be a well-thought out plan of energetic games balanced by restful periods of portable meals and quiet lying about on blankets, under umbrellas that shade the sun. Book readings and quiet conversation (always being conscious of the children who will be absorbing every word we utter) after an energetic walk or game are the stuff of memories, especially if ‘ritualized’ over a one or two week period with the people most loved in one’s life. It is true that great thought and energy will have to go into books to take (appropriate real stories about real life), food to pack (share nourishing, tempting recipes with other family members and share the menu) and games appropriate to the children’s development, but this will form the basis of the time spent together. I vividly remember childhood family gatherings in the summer in the piney woods of a Louisiana park. There were all generations of family members, many stories to hear, running and hiding games under the watchful supervision of the adults, luscious Louisiana watermelon and homemade sandwiches to eat. Do extended families get together like this anymore – away from the in-doors and into the ‘wilds’ of the outdoors?

As the ones who have the vision for their child’s development, we must plan for opportunities to gather with the ones we love AND accept the leadership in planning, recruiting support and providing for pleasurable re-connections with family and friends that do not exhaust our children or unravel our best laid plans for their development.

Locating and matching the perfect summer rendezvous for your child might take time and planning but your child is worth all of the effort. For us, the adults, the summer is fleeting, but for children, it is a world unto itself that stretches out forever, until, magically, someone says it is time for school again. Your child’s guide will be ready to receive a well-rested, well-nourished child who has developed her sense of self a bit more through the leisurely passage of summer activity.

02 Oct

Montessori Books for New Parents

by Marcy Hogan | Book Review

4 Comments

I am always very excited when a friend or acquaintance approaches me asking about Montessori. This can also be an intimidating situation, though– how to explain Montessori in a way that is both concise and thorough? I want to give them a stack of books to read, as there are many wonderful resources written both by Maria Montessori and by other authors since her time… but sometimes I’ll hesitate the recommend those right off the bat, especially if the inquirer is a parent of a young child and has little free time. I’m afraid of overwhelming them with too much information all at once, or giving them a dense book that they start reading but then set aside and forget about.

So usually my first recommendation is How To Raise An Amazing Child the Montessori Way by Tim Seldin. This book manages to provide a solid introduction to the Montessori philosophy while still being a light (aka non-intimidating) read. The author explains a few of the key aspects of Montessori, its advantages, how Montessori classrooms work, and suggestions for building a Montessori-like environment in your home with your own children, starting from infancy. The text is accompanied by beautiful pictures to help illustrate the concepts. I feel that this is a pretty great way for someone to get a feel for what Montessori is all about.

This book also serves as a great resource for parents, for quick reviews of Montessori philosophy and how to use Montessori at home. I confess, I tend to keep it near my bedside table to look through for a few moments at night as a reminder of how to incorporate Montessori into daily life with a toddler. Thus, not only is this a great book for newcomers wanting to learn about Montessori, it can also be quite useful even for more experienced Montessorians wanting to use these same ideals at home with our children.

27 Jun

Understanding Montessori

by Jim Fitzpatrick | Book Review

2 Comments

With this recent publication Maren Schmidt gathers upon her full-range of Montessori experience to help parents better understand what, how, and why a Montessori education is the appropriate choice for children of all ages. As a parent, and as an authentically-trained Montessori teacher, as well as a Montessori school founder and administrator, she is able to “see” what it is parents need in order to reach an informed decision about their child’s education.

“Understanding Montessori” is exhaustive in its approach, and is a resource any Montessori school can rely upon for insights and guidance in helping parents, and potential parents, better understand what to expect from their child’s Montessori experience. The book’s thoroughness may be too broad for the casual parent browsing for simple explanations, but for diligent parents striving to know what it is about Montessori philosophy and practice that makes it so special, Schmidt’s book provides clear and comprehensive information.

In fact, the completeness of the book’s content will likely provide the basis for ongoing discussions within Montessori school communities, parent education programs or events, and even book-club type readings as the basis for group discussions with parents, teachers, and administrators.

Additionally, Schmidt sprinkles chapters with quotations and perspectives from Dr. Maria Montessori, a gentle reminder of how timely Montessori’s work continues to be.

“Understanding Montessori – A Guide for Parents” is an essential resource for every Montessori school. Importantly, Montessori teachers and administrators who read the book will better be able to respond to the questions and concerns parents may have. Parents who read the book will be better able to comprehend and supplement their child’s experiences within their Montessori classrooms, and that will mean everyone benefits from Schmidt’s efforts—informed, supportive, committed parents, with happy children creatively learning in schools meeting the needs of the children, the parents, and the teachers…Schmidt’s book is part of this ‘portrait’ of success.

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